So you think if offered one magic remote-control button to govern the Universe, you’d choose REWIND? There are a lot of people who would love to travel back in time for any number of reasons. Maybe you’re right. But perhaps you should PAUSE to consider the inevitable ramifications?
Remember in Saved by the Bell when Zack Morris put his hands in the shape of a “T” and called a timeout? Everyone else stopped. He continued right on doing … something. Frankly, I have no memory of what he did while everyone else’s time was frozen. Just as many of you likely have no idea who Zack Morris is or what exactly the bell saved him from.
The young schemer essentially used the PAUSE button on a—potentially literally—universal remote control. From what I can remember, there was no mention of whether Zach would merely PAUSE the people surrounding him in the school or diner, or if the whole of the Universe—viewers included—came to a momentary halt. I watched every episode of Saved by the Bell, yet never recall myself becoming frozen in time. I guess it was just local. Then again, would I have even known? Maybe the universal PAUSE occurred during filming. So many unknowns.
But enough about Zack Morris and Saved by the Bell. Imagine what you can do with a PAUSE button. You could become any combination of the following: famous, rich, happy, dead. Three of those four sound great! Let’s explore them all.
You’re instantly the world’s greatest, most famous magician. No need to waste your time practicing sleight of hand and misdirection. Just press PAUSE and do the secret move that nobody will ever see.
But why waste your time wowing people to earn only their meager price of admission. Instead, find your way to the local casino where you can guarantee yourself win upon win upon win. Sit at third base at the blackjack table and take a peek at the dealers down card and the next cards out of the shoe. Or, as soon as that silver ball nestles into a numbered pocket on the roulette wheel, press PAUSE and slide a few chips onto that number.
You know what, screw all that! That still seems like hard work. Just walk up to the craps table, press PAUSE, and take a few chips from the plethora of stacks in front of the dealers. As long as you don’t get greedy, they’ll likely never know they were pilfered. But if there’s some drunk, obnoxious prick at the table—some dude who won’t stop gloating about how great he is, and how everybody else is an idiot by comparison—take every single one of that asshole’s chips!
Want to combine fame and fortune? Stay in the casino and find your way over to the poker room. Imagine how easy poker would be if you knew everybody else’s cards, and which cards we’re going to come on the flop, turn, and river. Put an amazing run together of winning some of the biggest poker tournaments in the world, and you have yourself both money and notoriety.
When fame and money eventually stop bringing you happiness, do some good for others. Pay the grocery bill of the mom of twins in front of you in line. If you’ve already spent all that money you won from the poker tournaments, simply push PAUSE when the cashier opens the register. Take what you need. In fact, take more than you need to cover her groceries. Tell Mom to keep the change and buy herself a little something special.
PAUSE for a moment and contemplate how that mom-to-be came to be with twins in the first place. On a [potentially] unrelated note, if you ever simply want a moment to last longer—any moment … for whatever reason—you’ve got your magic PAUSE button right there in your pocket. You’ll just need to find out where your pants were thrown.
What a dirty little mind you have!
Ultimately, though, we arrive at the real, physics-related question. How does time flow during these PAUSE sessions? Does time continue ticking on as it ever would, one second per second? If so, every time you press PAUSE, you are creating moments of amnesia for all those around you, stripping precious moments from all their lives.
Alternatively, might time actually stand still for everyone—including you—during a PAUSE? If so, you are able to move in the three dimensions of space, but not in the 4th dimension of time. Physics is going to have a big problem with this! I hear what you’re saying, “Physics would have a problem with the whole PAUSE concept in general.” You know, you’re really starting to remind me of that guy at the craps table.
By my best approximation, during a PAUSE everybody else’s time would stop as the universe’s time is halted. Your time, however, would continue to march right along. Once you press PAUSE again to un-PAUSE everybody else, you travel back in time to everybody else’s current time. Essentially, you will have aged in comparison to everyone else.
The ramifications of pressing that PAUSE button might very well be the shortening of your life with respect to everybody else’s frame of reference. In plain English, if you PAUSE a situation for 5 minutes, those 5 minutes will be taken off your life! The longer and more often you PAUSE, the fewer weeks, months, and years you will live.
Live your life famously. Live it richly. Live it happily. All the while, know that instead of Saved by the Bell, your life will be early to hell. Also, be forewarned, people will talk behind your back:
“Sure he’s world famous, rich as all get-out, and seems genuinely happy. But, Christ, is he aging quickly!”
So you still think you’d choose the REWIND button to control the Universe? Maybe MUTE everything for a few moments. Go BACK and REWIND a bit. PAUSE to RECALL all your OPTIONS. Don’t FAST FORWARD into anything you’ll regret. Consider all the INFO that’ll GUIDE you to SELECT the best choice. I’m sure if you got a REWIND button, you’d use it for the good of all humanity. And, I suppose, REWIND can accomplish some version of all the beneficial PAUSE stuff I mentioned—possibly without the premature aging issue. So, I guess, yeah, come to think of it … You’re Probably Right.
[054] April 26, 2026