UrProbablyRight

Ever met someone who would argue either side of any debate? Someone who always plays the role of contrarian, regardless of their true beliefs? Devil’s advocate, again and again?

I believe there’s seldom a universally correct answer to a question, or solution to a problem. On random Thursdays and/or Sundays, I’ll post a 1,000ish word argument AGAINST a widely held belief. Will I always believe my arguments? Hell no! But that doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be considered.

[050] Stupid, Monogamous Humans (What will cause the downfall of human civilization)

[049] Swedish Meatballs for the Win (Why IKEA should be avoided)

[048] He/Her/They/It/Elephant (Why you should not be allowed to choose your gender pronouns)

[047] Tastes Like Chicken (Why cannibalism gets a bad [w]rap)

[046] One Shot, Two Shot . . . (Why vaccine mandates don’t infringe on civil liberties)

[045] Worst Series Finale Ever (Why it’s wrong to offer rewards for arrests & convictions)

[044] You Dirty Rat [Poison] (What’s wrong with the 11th Amendment)

[043] Henrietta Who? (What’s wrong with the aborted fetal cell conspiracy theory)

[042] The Ultimate COA (What’s wrong with the 10th Amendment)

[041] Ban Them? No, Reward Them! (Why Rose, McGwire, Sosa, & Bonds should be in Cooperstown)

[040] And, Umm . . . Whatever We Forgot (What’s wrong with the 9th Amendment)

[039] The More, The Merrier (Why the World Needs More People)

[038] Take A Number (Why “First come, first served” shouldn’t last)

[037] Hear the One About . . . Umm (Why you must write down your thoughts)

[036] Well it Didn’t Change Itself! (Why you should stop touching the thermostat)

[035] Unusually Excessive & Cruel (What’s wrong with the 8th Amendment)

[034] Grape Smugglers & Pickle Pinchers (Why more men should wear a Speedo)

[033] What’s This “Second-Last Opponent” BS? (Why soccer isn’t the most popular sport in the U.S.)

[032] Boobs or Death (Why George R. R. Martin should not rush to finish his “A Song of Ice and Fire” series)

[031] It’s the One Between 6 & 8 (What’s wrong with the 7th Amendment)

[030] Your Fat Momma’s Broken Hip (Why the phrase “Don’t add insult to injury” is wrong)

[029] President Trumps Doctor (Why anyone with a doctorate should be called “Doctor”)

[028] Know How We Name Children? (Why Charades is not a wholesome, family game)

[027] Legal Defence [sic]: The Scarface Way (What’s wrong with the 6th Amendment)

[026] COVID: Your 2nd Aerosolized Worry (Why you must put the toilet seat down before flushing)

[025] Chekhov’s Gun Is Empty (The drawbacks of formulaic writing)

[024] [(40 • ∆200 ≈ 80y) / –70°] = |x| (Why you should get the COVID vaccine ASAP)

[023] A Date Which Will Live In Lid-famy (What’s so special about 12/16/20)

[022] Once More, I Repeat, It’s Groundhog Day Again (What’s wrong with the 5th Amendment)

[021] Great Benefits, How ‘bout the Pay? (Why volunteering is not a noble, altruistic act)

[020] Preventing Plateaus & Phantom Phalanges (Why your daily routines are bad for you)

[019] Carcinogens Shmarshminogens—Live in the Moment (Why Purdue Pharma’s punishment was overly harsh)

[018] Procrastination Begets Inspiration (What’s wrong with the 4th Amendment)

[017] Stealth Sandal Sighting Signals Suboptimal Sanitation (Why you should never shake hands)

[016] Sisyphus responded, “Nah, I’m good.” (Why you shouldn’t make your bed)

[015] Bradley [Ian] Thomas [Connor] Heffron’s Resting Grin (Why Trump should be allowed to nominate RBG’s replacement)

[014] Hows ‘bout the Dog House (What’s wrong with the 3rd Amendment)

[013] 15% . . . Did She Piss in Your Coffee? (Why you shouldn’t tip in cash)

[012] Hanging On For That $27.00, Chad? (Why voting is not worth the time)

[011] Watch the Sac, Buddy! (Why we can’t rule out the existence of Bigfoot)

[010] Deadbeat or Dumbass (Why credit cards are great financial tools)

[009] Catch-22-Caliber (What’s wrong with the 2nd Amendment)

[008] Roy’s Myopic Popularity (Why blue should not be your favorite color)

[007] A Happy Couple Amid 3.3 x 10^8 (Why the Electoral College must persist)

[006] Fissure of Lennie’s Desire (Why you shouldn’t be bored)

[005] William O. Wright Sr., Esq. (What’s wrong with the 1st Amendment)

[004] Good ol’ Boys: 28 — Trailer Trash: 17 (Is it time for sports teams to change their derogatory mascots and logos?)

[003] Trophies for All: Sheepskin Edition (Why you don’t deserve a graduation ceremony)

[002] ? the £√¢Ж is a ;? (Why punctuation is necessary in texts and on social media)

[001] 2020 Fashion: Bank Robber Chic (Why you need to wear a mask in public)