Q&complAints #029 : Motivate Your Kids

What is the best way to motivate your kids?

Post your answer in the LEAVE A COMMENT section below. I’m not the boss of you, though. Don’t write anything for all I care!  How’s that for motivation?

questions answers signage

. . .here are my thoughts.

What is the best way to motivate your kids?

Define “kids.” Must they have 2 legs? If so, are you going to disown a child with an amputated leg? Okay, obviously I’m inferring the 4-legged kind—dogs, most notably. I don’t have kids of the human variety, so I’m not exactly sure how to answer this question. But a lack of experience or understanding has never stopped me before. Dogs are highly motivated by food, and— presumably—human offspring are as well. A few days without sustenance would probably serve as motivation. But you’d risk getting a visit from a government agency or two. Dogs somewhat understand a harsh tone and a quick smack on the butt or tap on the nose. From what I hear, though, spanking kids is obsolete, and a rhinoplasty can be expensive if that tap on the nose morphs into a right hook. The best motivation for an adult is incremental advancement toward successful accomplishment of personal goals. This may not be relevant if a kid’s life goal is to win the next Fortnite Battle Royale. Maybe just love your puppies/kids, keep them fed and alive, and hope they don’t call Child Protective Services.