So, you say you’re indifferent to whether sports teams change their derogatory mascots and logos? Well, it’s tough to be right or wrong when you don’t pick a side. But consider that teams like the Atlanta Braves, Washington Redskins, and Cleveland Indians have been around since, at the earliest, 1915. Why is now, all of a sudden, the time for change?
There is a much larger issue that we should be troubled about than which logo resides on a jersey. A concern that has been going on for far longer than 105 years. The Braves, Redskins, and Indians all reference Indigenous Peoples that were in this country well before it was a country. The Indian Removal Act of 1830—now colloquially referenced as the Trail of Tears—forced 60,000 Native Americans westward, off the lands they’d lived on for generations. But that was not the beginning of discrimination against them. Native Americans have been pushed from their land or killed by newcomers settling here since at least the late 15th century.
Changing a team’s name focuses on a problem presented by recency bias. Instead, we need to focus on the long-held, deeply ingrained problem of racism that’s been around since before Columbus’ misadventures led him to the “New World.” Racism of all colors! Sure, ending the use of a derogatory name and insignia on a piece of laundry is a start. It’s far from the extent of action needed to make reparations for 100’s of years of injustice, though.
Ultimately, sports are a religion to millions of fans who assemble for rituals that support their favorite team. These are the fans that will support a jersey regardless of the mascot stitched on its front, or the logo painted on the playing surface. Fans cheer loudly and proudly for their franchise, decade after decade, even as petitions to retain their favorite players are ignored on social media. True fans cheer the culture, local media supports the city, a season-ticket holder celebrates along with the guy that’s spilled beer down his back after every touchdown for the last 20 years. Sports bring us together. We can’t allow something as fleeting as a mascot or logo to alter our communal experience of fandom.
Since teams are finally folding to public pressure and changing names derogatory to Native Americans, perhaps we should begin making reparations in the form of equality. For the next century, flip the script; make team names derogatory to the Caucasians who started this whole kerfuffle. As a white man, I’ll grant there really aren’t any terribly racist or ethnic slang terms for white folks. But let’s give it a go, anyway.
Here’s an easy one to start us off. Either the Washington White Trash, or Washington White Bread. Flip a coin, you can’t go wrong. The Cleveland Crackers provokes a dryness on the palate, mimicking the city’s 50+ year dry spell of major sports titles—until 2016 when Lebron ruined it for Believeland, a fan base that held an odd pride in their city’s decades of mediocrity.
I’d love to stick with the alliterative theme I’ve developed, but the Atlanta Anti-Abolishionists seems a leap right past derogatory, firmly into the racist/slavery camp—exactly what we’re trying to avoid. So bucking the trend, I suggest the Atlanta Rednecks. I figure since the Braves have their infamous Tomahawk Chop, the Rednecks could make a smooth transition to the Lumberjack Axe. I hope you appreciate the subtlety here: not only do we keep the same number of syllables for ease of transition, but Axe and Chop can each be used as both a noun and a verb. This is gold, and I’m just giving it away for free!
I also heard the Edmonton Eskimos of the Canadian Football League recently dropped their moniker, but have yet announced a replacement name. Again, attributing an alliterative arc, I announce the Edmonton Equestrians. That name’s whiter than a brunch of whole wheat avocado toast, organic hummus with gluten-free crackers, and raw beet juice with a dash of sea salt. Now, I’m not a big horse racing guy, but I have watched the Kentucky Derby a few times. And other than the wide variety of horse colors, I saw only a sea of white people in silly hats.
If you’re a supporter of one of these clubs that’s changing their name, what will you do with all of your defunct team merchandise? Do you really want to buy all new replacement apparel? You certainly can’t wear that $100 Redskins jersey you bought just last season out in public without being immediately tagged as a racist, thus subject to verbal or physical abuse. In addition to issues of personal safety, rebranding is affecting the pocket book of dedicated fans. If I were the owner of one of these clubs—or any franchise for that matter—I’d consider changing my team’s name more often than the Browns change starting QB. Why not rake in that guaranteed merchandise money year after year?
With all this sports talk, I think we’re missing a really important point. The big change that’s bound to rock all our worlds . . . Aunt Jemima is no more! The loving, family member of breakfast fame has been around since 1889. If her 131 years of diabetes-inducing time must come to an end, maybe a few early-20th century mascots should as well. This could be the beginning of a vast cultural change that finally puts an end to systemic racism. Or, perhaps . . . you know . . . things could just continue as they have for centuries.
So, you’re still unsure if it’s time for sports teams to change their derogatory mascots and logos? If these are the small steps that begin a cascade to eventually stamp out racism, I’m all for the changes. But, I fear this is merely a small concession by billion-dollar franchises to appease a marginalized group of people, while attempting to profit in the process. So, I guess, yeah, if you’re unsure . . . You’re Probably Right.