Q&complAints #503 : Hotel Stay

What is the best part about staying at a hotel?

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. . .here are my thoughts.

What is the best part about staying at a hotel?

Patrick Mahomes buys each of his offensive linemen a thoughtful, expensive Christmas gift each year.  If he were to buy them each a house one holiday season—which he could, given his $450 million contract over 10 years—he’d have every opportunity to employ some great wordplay.     

“These houses are yours, fellas.  But remember, they’re at least partially ‘Mahomes’!” 

or 

“They’re yours now, boys.  Sure, I paid for the houses, but they’re no longer ‘Mahomes’!” 

It’d almost be worth it to his linemen to stay at a hotel for a night or two each week just so they don’t have to hear Patrick’s voice announcing a new variant of the above wordplay every day via a hidden speaker system he had installed in each of the houses.  While they’re at the hotel, hopefully those big boys help themselves to some tiny, courtesy bottles of shampoo and conditioner, along with those annoyingly dainty soaps.  Imagine how small those must seem to a 320-pound dude.  Forget tiny toiletries.  The real joy of a hotel stay is not getting yelled at by your wife for failing to make the bed in the morning!


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