Ned’s 2020 Adventures
December 8-9, 2020
December 8, 2020
COVID, COVID, COVID. Just because it’s the holiday season, we can’t forget we’re in the midst of a pandemic—a worldwide outbreak, touching nearly every inhabited corner of the globe. Ned poses for a bit of a PSA on the importance of hand washing and facial coverings, the whole time regretting not thinking about this a few days ago. This photo would have made for a much better, more personalized greeting card than the generic, store bought ones he signed yesterday. Seeing as all the envelopes were addressed to Santa or fellow elves, though, Ned’s messages may have fallen on deaf ears—not to mention mittened hands, and naked faces. Santa and his elves, as is common knowledge, are universally immune to viruses. Hopefully you can understand why the North Pole inhabitants feel quite disrespected with the term “pandemic.”
December 9, 2020
Wash hands, wash hands, wash hands. All that hand talk yesterday got Ned thinking about Thanos and his glove in Avengers: Infinity War. Ned has never seen the film, but he’s not completely deaf to popular culture. Ned wasn’t convinced it’d work, but he figured a Nintendo Power Glove was a decent enough substitute to strap onto his right hand. He called in six local interns, claiming a Santa-mandated training course. Ned was really hoping to vanish Jud (the dude’s been a trainee, like, forever) and keep Patti (Ned won’t admit it, but he’s got a bit of a crush on her). After entering the Konami Code, Ned is ecstatic to learn Marvel Comics doesn’t have a hand up on elfin magic. His joy is slightly diminished because Jud remains, but one out of two ain’t bad.