Ned’s 2020 Adventures
December 10-12, 2020
December 10, 2020
Grand plans are common among elves. Ned planned to cut out snowflakes until he could prove that the “No two snowflakes are alike” idea is a myth. In truth, it boils down to the definition of alike. A wide-eyed child staring out his bedroom window on Christmas morning sees every snowflake filling the sky in exactly the same way—as a facilitator of a white Christmas. Under a microscope (if that’s even possible), the potential points of difference increase logarithmically. Even then, surely two snowflakes in all of history have looked identical. Arguing pedantically, the exact same atoms would need to be in the exact same configurations to be alike—thus the saying would be true. Anyway, Ned got stuck behind the picture frame after only 4 snowflakes.
December 11, 2020
Ned gets an up close look at what he believes to be a fossilized footprint of an Abominable Snowman. Having only seen such prints in the most remote confines of the already remote North Pole, Ned is fascinated to find one in Columbus, Ohio—and based on the size, even odder still to find one of such a young specimen. We find out later he was merely playing along, knowing Brad had planted the track as a practical joke. We asked him sarcastically, “Wow, Ned, how’d you know it wasn’t real?” He surprised us with his answer: “Young Snowies don’t grow a 5th nail until they’re at least 3 times this size.” It would seem two can play the practical joke game.
December 12, 2020
With it getting a bit late in the season, and all the best Christmas trees picked over at the local lots, Ned decides to test out his entrepreneurial thumb. Sales, however, proved abysmal. Lack of customer interest may have been due to his poor advertisement, poor location, lack of variety, or the fact that he was hawking candy as a legit Christmas decoration. Truth be told, it was a combination of all these factors and more. Ever the optimist, though, Ned was content with his 6 bedtime snacks.