Rx #0000045 : At-Home COVID Tests

URxProbablyRxight

Meds & Counsel without Patience for Patients
Ever heard of Dick’s Last Resort? Never been to the restaurant myself, but I love the concept. It’s like the court jester in medieval times being able to tell the King the harsh truth since everything he said was in—you guessed it—jest. Why has no pharmacy taken up this business practice? If patients expect harsh but fair truth from the pharmacy team, they’ll accept it readily.
Welcome to URxProbablyRxight. The pharmacy of the future where we provide “Meds & Counsel without Patience for Patients.”

At-Home COVID Tests

[Tech 1]: “Thanks for calling ‘You Are Probably Right.’ This is Fred, a technician. What can I do for you?”
[Tech 2]: “‘You Are Probably Right.’ This is Kay. How can I help you?”
[Tech 3]: “This is ‘You Are Probably Right.’ I’m Jaycee, a tech. What can I help you with?”
[Intern]: “Thanks for calling ‘You Are Probably Right.’ This is Owen.”
[Tech 1]: “Nope, we’re completely out of the at-home COVID tests.”
[Tech 2]: “Sorry, all sold out.”
[Tech 3]: “Nope, all gone, sorry.”
[Intern]: “Negative. As soon as we put them out, they’re gone in, like, 15 minutes.”
[Tech 1]: “Our next order comes in Wednesday, but I can’t guarantee we’ll get any.”
[Tech 2]: “No, we can’t call you when they come in.”
[Tech 3]: “I don’t work at CVS. How would I know if they have any in stock?”
[Intern]: “Nope, we won’t be able to hold any back here just for you.”
[Tech 1]: “I don’t know. Amazon might be your best bet.”
[Tech 2]: “Even if we did call people, you’d be about #500 on that list!”
[Tech 3]: “A failure to plan on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine!”
[Intern]: “Lots of people have been coming here for years, but I’m not holding any for them either!”
[Rph]: “Thank you for calling ‘You Are Probably Right.’ We do not have COVID tests! Repeat— No COVID tests! This is Marianne—” — “Hey, it worked; they just hung up.”

. . . [As an employee at URxProbablyRxight, how do you
deal with these incessant phone calls?]