Rx #0000023 : Thirteen Wasted Doses

URxProbablyRxight

Meds & Counsel without Patience for Patients
Ever heard of Dick’s Last Resort? Never been to the restaurant myself, but I love the concept. It’s like the court jester in medieval times being able to tell the King the harsh truth since everything he said was in—you guessed it—jest. Why has no pharmacy taken up this business practice? If patients expect harsh but fair truth from the pharmacy team, they’ll accept it readily.
Welcome to URxProbablyRxight. The pharmacy of the future where we provide “Meds & Counsel without Patience for Patients.”

Thirteen Wasted Doses

[Intern]: “Hurry up and get the gate before anyone else shows up, Lesley.”
[Tech]: “Don’t have to tell me twice.”
[Rph]: “Good work tonight, you two. How many doses we waste today, Owen?”
[Intern]:
“Eighteen.”
[Rph]: “Eighteen!? What the—”
[Intern]: “Yup, only gave one dose of Pfizer and one Moderna.”
[Rph]: “What a waste.”
[Intern]: “Yeah, really.”
[Tech]: “I think Marianne said she wasted 5 doses of Pfizer this afternoon, too.”
[Rph]: “Okay, so let’s do the math here. Of the 26 possible doses, we only gave—”
[Intern]: “It’s really more like 29, Roger. Since each vial could have an extra dose.”
[Rph]: “Yeah, good point. So we only gave 3 of a possible 29 doses. So that’s, umm—let me pull up my calculator—89.6% of the day’s doses were wasted. That’s ridiculous!”
[Tech]: “Whatever. It’s not our money.”
[Intern]: “The hell it’s not! That’s our taxes going straight to Pfizer and Moderna.”
[Tech]: “Wait a minute. Is Moderna the name of the company, or is that just what they call the vaccine?”
[Intern]: “Yeah it’s the company’s name, too . . . I think . . . right?”
[Tech]: “Cause I’d only ever heard of Mederma—you know, the scar stuff. That’s not the same company, is it?”
[Intern]: “No . . . I don’t know. Now you got me confused.”
[Rph]: “Moderna is the company’s name, too. The vaccine’s the first drug they ever produced. But what really has me confused is why they changed from 10-dose vials to 14.”
[Intern]: “And as soon as the demand died down. Makes absolutely no sense.”
[Tech]: “It might not make any sense, but it sure as hell makes them a lot of dollars.”
[Rph/Intern]: . . .

. . . [As Lesley’s coworkers at URxProbablyRxight, how do express your disapproval of her ending the day with such a poor attempt at a pun?]

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