Q&complAints #517 : Worst Feature

What is the worst feature of the person nearest to you right now?

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. . .here are my thoughts.

What is the worst feature of the person nearest to you right now?

Emotionally, my wife is the closest to me at all times.  Since I seldom leave the house unless I’m headed to work (and I only write while at home), Phoebe is odds on to be closest to me in physical proximity as well.  So, Phoebe’s worst feature … having her as a passenger in the car.  Especially on the freeway!  She gets T-boned and sent into a tree—totaling her car with the odometer barely into triple digits—and suddenly she doesn’t trust other drivers.  Phoebe’s fine if she’s driving, though, therefore takes the wheel whenever we venture out together.  I’d still rather have my wife as a passenger than be driven by the college classmate whose car a group of us took to Put-in-Bay senior year.  This girl was the scaredest driver I’ve ever encountered.  When a car a quarter mile up the freeway merged into her lane, she’d slam on the brakes.  The first time we stopped to empty our bladders and fill our stomachs, I highjacked her keys.  Unlike Phoebe, she was a perfectly calm passenger.  Turns out she was just a shitty driver.


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