Q&complAints #491 : Residential Inconvenience

What is the biggest inconvenience about your current residence?

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. . .here are my thoughts.

What is the biggest inconvenience about your current residence?

My house has high ceilings.  So high, I can’t reach the living room’s peak even with my tallest ladder … even if I weren’t scared to try.  I can only guess at the height because I have no reasonable method of measuring it, and I don’t have the blueprints.  Let’s call it between 1.5 and 2 basketball hoops tall.  My father put it simply when first setting foot in the cathedral: “Gonna cost a lot to heat this in the winter.”  The worst thing about the untouchable ceilings, though, is looking up, squinting, and seeing a small dark mark.  Is that a spider?  That’s a spider!  And it’s right above my seat on the couch.  There’s obviously no way I can kill it.  Do I move to another seat, conceding temporarily to the trespassing arachnid?  Or do I stay put, glancing skyward every 30 seconds?  Will it drop down on me like an adventurer rappelling down the shaft of a vertical cave?  Worse yet, what if I look up and it’s gone?  Where the hell is it now?  Wispy cobwebs remain—the mark of ownership over vast heights.  What an inconvenience!

 


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