Q&complAints #345: Greatest Thing

What is the greatest “thing” in the world?

Post your answer in the LEAVE A COMMENT section below. I’m not the boss of you, though. Don’t write anything for all I care! But it’d be, like, the greatest thing ever if you did.
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. . .here are my thoughts.

What is the greatest “thing” in the world?

Be honest—do you put cotton swabs inside your precious little ear canals?  I understand the dangers, but warnings about NOT FOR USE IN EARS seem overblown.  I assume fear of potential lawsuits is the real reason behind the cautious labeling.  I admit it … two swabs find their way into my ears every morning.  Wet one side, wind it around the curvy outer ear, then circle the periphery of my ear canal, careful not to go too deep.  Flip it around and repeat with the dry side.  Repeat in the other ear.  The whole time making sure nobody’s around to bump my elbow, sending the swab into my ear drum, straight through my brain, and out the other ear—much like anything I hear on FOX News.  Absent ear-based utility, though, cotton swabs have many uses.  My recent discovery is their amazing ability to remove eye junk from deep in the corner of dog’s peepers.  I place the swab parallel to Baron’s eye with the cotton gently touching the corner, and swiftly rotate it.  Voilà—magic eye junk remover!  Is there anything in this world greater than the versatile cotton swab?


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