Ned’s 2019 Adventures

The stares continue, unblinking with a variety of amazements. Why would that elf build a snowman indoors? Where did he get the snow to begin with? Ned shields his face not only from the embarrassment of his engineering disaster, but from yesterday’s passive-aggressive insensitivity toward Santa’s eight travel companions. It takes every member of Santa’s team working in perfect harmony to pull off the seeming impossibility that is Christmas morning across the globe—a difficulty increasing logarithmically as the population continues to increase year-over-year. Two important lessons are learned today: the 3 phases of H2O are highly temperature and pressure dependent; and Ned’s hat is a very handy storage receptacle—Santa’s “Help” sign not the least of its contents.