Ned’s 2019 Adventures
December 3, 2019
In the past, Ned has developed muscle cramps by simply thinking about a workout. So a
quarter-pound flip is more than enough to get his hamstrings demanding potassium. While he
has no religious or ethical reasons for being a glucovore (his diet consists of over 90% simple
sugars), Ned does feel that some degree of consciousness exists in all fruits and vegetables.
After a bit of a rather one-sided conversation, Ned chose the smiling banana and opened it,
appropriately, from the bottom. He ate the lower half of its sugary insides, leaving a loose,
flapping skin that made the expression of its siblings all the more understandable.