Commercial Failure
When was the last time you saw a commercial that made absolutely no sense? Ohh … you don’t watch commercials. I try not to, either. But occasionally the bastards sneak up on you! Join me as we explore a reasonable interpretation of a real gem. Might as well help them punch up their slogan while we’re at it.
Today’s Commercial Failure:
Vuori: ‘My Happiness Starts Here’
**Click below to watch the Commercial Failure**
https://www.ispot.tv/ad/2Ps5/vuori-my-happiness-starts-here
I understand the biggest difficulty with any commercial is actually getting people to watch it. Vuori solves that problem by putting the planet’s 2nd most beautiful woman on screen. [I love you, Phoebe (i.e. #1).] Is Vuori manipulating people to watch their advertisement? Absolutely. Can I be mad at them? On the contrary, I thank them!
My problem with the spot is that nobody in their right mind is looking at the joggers. I’m looking at Livvy’s pearly white teeth and sculpted abs. And, no, I certainly didn’t miss that shot of her cleveage. What I did miss was any detail about the clothes she’s wearing. I’m absolutely sure she is wearing clothes, but that’s the extent of it. Listen to her speak and she’ll tell you all about Vuori’s Performance Joggers. Still wasn’t focusing on the clothes, though.
You think I’m overselling my point, do you? Alrighty then, let’s test how well you were able to pay attention to the commercial bookended by Livvy’s beautiful smile.
Are the pants cuffed at the ankles or straight legged?
Cuffed
Is the drawstring on the inside or the outside of the pants?
Outside
Are there 1 or 2 rear pockets?
Zero!
Let’s pretend you’re convinced to buy a pair of joggers for your sweetheart. You give the pants to your girl and she’s amazed at their comfort. She, too, literally says, “These must be the softest joggers on the planet.” Then one day the two of you see this commercial together. Once the commercial ends she says, “Wait, are those my joggers?” She skips back to the start of the commercial. As it begins again, your love glances over at you. Your eyes are glued on Livvy’s washboard abs.
That’s when all hell breaks loose.
“Oh, well I’m so sorry I don’t look as good in these stupid pants as that bitch! You know what—I don’t care how soft and comfortable they are, I’m never wearing ‘em again!”
“But, honey—”
“Shut up! You know what? You know what? I’m keeping ‘em!”
“Good, ‘cause they look great on you, baby.”
“I said shut up! You can talk again after you order me three more pairs.”
That’s an unlikely scenario, though, since no dude in his right mind would voluntarily spend $94 for that first pair of pants.
Old Vuori slogan:
My happiness starts here—in the softest joggers on the planet.
New Vuori slogan:
Relationships end here—most expensive joggers on the planet.