So you think just a 2 degree difference on your home’s thermostat is a big deal? Maybe you’re right. But even though we all have our own personal extremes of hot and cold that we consider bearable, they are nothing compared to the Universe’s EXTREMES!
If you’re reading this on the day it’s posted (or any March 17th), remember the beer you’re drinking does NOT count as a vegetable just because it’s green. A beer so icy cold, it’s as though fresh from a Rocky Mountain stream. Or perhaps it’s at room temperature—the way leprechauns drink their St. Patrick’s Day beer. That’s the rumor I’ve heard, anyway.
I also hear the biggest disagreement among spouses and other couples involves finances. Maybe she wants to add a sixth streaming service to the arsenal, while he would rather spend the money on a 4-foot tall Lucky the Leprechaun garden gnome. Perhaps he wants a fifth pair of ungodly expensive Gucci Loafers, while the other he constantly reminds his husband he only has two G.D. feet and the mortgage is due in a week. Fill in your own blanks: He/she thinks a _________ is a must have to accent the _________in the ______room, while he/she believes that $___ would be better allotted for _________ or even a ___________ for the __________. I know—can you believe the nerve of him/her!
Undoubtedly, though, the second biggest disagreement is that number on the thermostat. Just a 1 or 2 degree difference in desired temperature might not sound like much to our ears, but it sure feels like it as fingers become numb, or sweat beads up on a forehead. Just a couple degrees either way. Humans have become so sensitized to their personal surroundings that their bodies can feel a single degree change.
There’s that old trope of the husband and father who barges through the door the instant after one of his family members touch the thermostat, yelling “Who touched the thermostat? . . . Well it didn’t change itself!” Tropes persist for a reason—because they’re based firmly in reality. It’s undeniable that people will argue over a single degree.
Let’s explore the general concept of temperature. There are three main ways to measure it: Fahrenheit (°F), Celsius (°C), and Kelvin (K). As a frame of reference, water freezes at 32°F, 0°C, and 273.15 K; boils at 212°F, 100°C, and 373.15 K. But what exactly is temperature? The simplified physics definition is “the average kinetic energy of atoms and molecules in a system.” Basically, the faster stuff moves, the higher the temperature. If you were to have absolutely no molecular motion—which is believed to be impossible—you would be at the aptly named, Absolute Zero (–459.67°F; 0 K).
Now let’s take a quick gander at the temperature extremes that exist.
- Universe: 1 K (Boomerang nebula) vs. 100 billion K (core of a supernovae)
- Solar System: 33 K (permanently shadowed craters near our moon’s south pole) vs. 15 million K (the core of the sun)
- Earth’s Surface: –128.6°F (Antarctica) vs. 134°F (Death Valley, CA)
- Earth (man-made): 0.006 K (Cryogenic Underground Observatory for Rare Events in Italy) vs. 5.5 trillion K (Large Hadron Collider in Switzerland)
- Human Body (and lived): 56.7°F (submerged in icy water) vs. 115°F (heatstroke)
- Room Temperature: 68°F vs. 72°F
Think about those numbers. A coldness to the extent that it’s virtually impossible for any motion whatsoever to take place. At the other extreme are temperatures so unimaginable by the human mind that atomic nuclei smash together to form the heavier elements that make up you, me, Gucci Loafers, maybe even leprechauns.
Yet most couples argue over 1 or 2 degrees.
Think about how utterly ridiculous this is. Ridiculous, yet amazing. We are so pampered and spoiled in our heated and cooled homes, that we’ve fine-tuned our bodies to find comfort in the narrowest of possible ranges. Can you imagine our ancestors 10’s or 100’s of thousands of years ago complaining that the temperature in their cave dropped 2 degrees? Of course not! Those harry bastards had no choice but to take what their environment gave them and make the best of it.
Your dog could be out back rolling around in the snow just as happy as he would running around the dog park in the middle of a summer heat wave. The same level of nakedness in either situation. This adaptation to a wide temperature range is a survival mechanism going back to their wolf ancestors. A trait humans are very likely breeding out of them. Not unlike how central heating and cooling has bred it out of us after only a handful of generations.
Next time you complain about the temperature being a degree or two too hot or cold, think about the essentially infinite continuum of possible temperatures in our Universe. Consider how fortunate you are to live in a time and place where you are afforded the luxury of complaining over a measly 2°F. A luxury we should never forget.
So, you still think a few degree change on your home’s thermostat makes a huge difference? When my wife turns the temperature down from 69°F to 66°F before going to bed, it does make the environment considerably more pleasant for sleeping. The slightest chill as I slip into bed, instantly neutralized by the pleasant warmth of 3 blankets and a dog. Tell you what, though, if she forgets to turn the temperature back up to 69°F before she leaves for work, I’ll sure as hell complain once I get up: “Holy shit, it’s freezing in here.” So, I guess, yeah, come to think of it . . . You’re Probably Right.
[036] March 17, 2021
Special thanks to Heather Page for this topic suggestion. If you have an idea for a topic,
let me know on the Comments & Suggestions page.