URxProbablyRxight
Meds & Counsel without Patience for Patients
Ever heard of Dick’s Last Resort? Never been to the restaurant myself, but I love the concept. It’s like the court jester in medieval times being able to tell the King the harsh truth since everything he said was in—you guessed it—jest. Why has no pharmacy taken up this business practice? If patients expect harsh but fair truth from the pharmacy team, they’ll accept it readily.
Welcome to URxProbablyRxight. The pharmacy of the future where we provide “Meds & Counsel without Patience for Patients.”
Measuring Diclofenac Gel
[Tech]: “We’ve got a counseling request at pick-up.”
[Rph]: “Thanks, Bernard.” — “Hi there. I’m Marianne, what can I answer for you that you couldn’t garner yourself from the Internet?”
[Patient]: “Yeah, that’s probably true. I can just Google it.”
[Rph]: “Just messing with you, Mr. Phelps. Plus, I already walked the 6 steps over here, so hit me with your question.”
[Pt]: “Sure. Well, I was just wondering if there’s anything I should know about this stuff.”
[Rph]: “What do we have? Ahh, diclofenac gel. Having some joint pain?”
[Pt]: “My doctor says it might be the beginnings of arthritis, or carpal tunnel.”
[Rph]: “I see. Well, the fancy thing about this anti-inflammatory is how you measure the dose. You’re using it on your . . .”
[Pt]: “Wrists.”
[Rph]: “Both of ‘em! Switch hitter, huh?”
[Pt]: “I—I work data entry. Constant typing.”
[Rph]: “Yeah, yeah, of course. Anyway, using this little plastic card here, you’ll squeeze one out to the 2 grams mark for your right wrist, then squeeze one out for your left. And you’ll do that 4 times a day.”
[Pt]: “Four times a day, huh?”
[Rph]: “But no more than that. We don’t want our tube going prematurely flaccid and shooting blanks, now do we?”
[Pt]: “Are you making references to masterba—”
[Rph]: “And don’t forget to wash your hands afterward. Clean-up is very important.”
[Pt]: “Okay now! I mean, I understand your shtick here and whatever, but seriously!?”
[Rph]: “And diclofenac is, like, one of the only topicals where we need exact measurements. Sometimes we have to call doctors to pull out directions to completion or insurances go hard on us, jerking us around with penalties stiffer than . . . well, you know.”
[Tech]: “Don’t forget vaginal creams! Those are measured out, too.”
[Pt]: “You people are something else! Whatever—you know what? I’ll just Google it.”