Q&complAints #437 : Chinese Fortune

At the end of a Chinese meal, what would you like your fortune to be?

Post your answer in the LEAVE A COMMENT section below. I’m not the boss of you, though. Don’t write anything for all I care! But I’d consider myself fortunate if you did.
questions answers signage

. . .here are my thoughts.

At the end of a Chinese meal, what would you like your fortune to be?

Adidas stands for All Day I Dream About Sex. That isn’t true; Adidas was named for its founder, Adolf (Adi) Dassler. This infamous initialism was mentioned in the movie, Air, along with Puma’s lesser known, Please Use My Ass. Why are they both sexual? Because it was 1984, and basketball shoes were marketed to teenage boys. Converse, another brand seeking Michael Jordan’s signature, must have had a sexual-based initialism of their own.  None were mentioned in the movie, though, so I came up with a couple candidates of my own.  I initially thought this one would work nicely: 

Cunnilingus Only!  No Vaginal Entry Requiring Stiff Erection. 

But the lack of sexual reciprocation of that initialism could be a detriment to Converse sales. A far superior saying might be:  

Come Once?  No!  Viagra Enables Repeated Satisfactory Ejaculations. 

Doubles as a perfect bit of fortune cookie nonsense! What about Nike, you ask?  

Never Incapable Keeping Erection. 

Next, Initiate Kissing Erogenously. 

Now I’ll Knowingly Ejaculate. 

Negotiate Intimate Kinky Effing. 

Maybe Nike should just stick with the whole Greek goddess of victory thing. Yeah, Just Do It that way. 


Check out ALL previous Q&complAints posts here!