Q&complAints #013 : Last Meal

If you were on death row, what would you request for your last meal?

Post your answer in the LEAVE A COMMENT section below. Then scroll back up and see what I have to complain about. Or you can wait until afterward . . . I’m not the boss of you. You know what? Don’t write anything for all I care! It’s not like this is my last request.

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. . .here are my thoughts.

If you were on death row, what would you request for your last meal?

Unfortunately, I don’t have any severe allergies to food. If I did, I would order that for my last Earthly meal. As an alternative, I’d order something they’ve never fed me while I was on death row—something that has a relatively high percentage of people with anaphylactic reactions to it. Lobster perhaps. I’d make some comment immediately prior to my first bite, hinting at my secret allergy. Soon after, I’d fake a severe reaction: gasp for breath; fake convulsions; drool all over myself; hell, I’d piss and shit myself if it’d help me sell it. Whatever it takes for them to rush me to the infirmary or get a medical team in there. Even though they were scheduled to end my life in a few hours, they won’t let me die then and there in a manner not mandated by the courts. At a bare minimum, this charade would delay my execution. At best, I could execute my Hollywood worthy escape plan amid the chaos of the situation. Such is our tax dollars at work.