What’s the best excuse you have ever heard?
Post your answer in the LEAVE A COMMENT section below. I’m not the boss of you, though. Don’t write anything for all I care! I’m sure you have a perfectly good excuse.
. . .here are my thoughts.
What’s the best excuse you have ever heard?
What should you say to your boss when you call in sick to work because you have to shit every 15 minutes? You don’t exactly want to be so blunt as to say, “I have to shit like every 15 minutes!” Maybe an email with that same lack of subtlety, but a whole lot more words would suffice.
I don’t want to be a shitty employee, butt if you’d be kind enough toilet me stay home today, I know the hole office would defecately appreciate it. This probably smells like I’m poopetrating a ploy to get the day off, but I’ll email you my work as soon as I’m dung with it. You’ll be flush with emails! Hopefully tomorrow I’ll have the Pepto get back turd the office.
Or perhaps a voicemail that’s a bit more sing-songy:
While my name might be Bradley
The liquid isn’t pee-pee
Diarrhea
Diarrhea
My middle name is Thomas
I’m sorry that I drop ass
Diarrhea
Diarrhea
When my bumhole’s feeling hot
I Heffron straight to the pot
Diarrhea
Diarrhea
Who really cares, though? As the original book—and a plethora of copycats—taught us, Everyone Poops.