Ad-tastrophe
When was the last time you saw a commercial that made absolutely no sense? Ohh … you don’t watch commercials. I try not to, either. But occasionally the bastards sneak up on you! Join me as we explore a reasonable interpretation of a real gem. Might as well help them punch up their slogan while we’re at it.
Watch Today’s Ad-tastrophe:
Tide: ‘Powerful Clean in Any Universe
Tide: ‘Powerful Clean in Any Universe’
[Make sure you’ve clicked the link above and watched the commercial before reading. Otherwise my ramblings will make even less sense than they normally do!]
This commercial reminds me of that Seinfeld episode when the lady wears the same dress on consecutive dates with Jerry. George ventures a guess that perhaps she’s on the cusp of a new wash cycle and merely moves the dress up in the rotation. Unlikely, but not completely unreasonable.
I’m assuming these four bus riders have saved enough money from not having a car payment, that they can each afford more than one work outfit. If you want to argue they’re waiting for the bus at a Park & Ride—thus, they do have cars—shut up! My point is, they most certainly each have more to wear to work than just the clothes we see throughout the commercial. And don’t even bother trying to convince me they’re all like Jerry’s mysterious date, or like a nurse or pharmacist who have a dozen sets of the exact same scrubs. I’m talking legit, unique outfits.
Let’s conservatively estimate that our cohort have 10 outfits each. The ad obviously takes place on two separate days since not only were all their clothes clean again at the end, but the entire environment around them was freshly spotless. (More on that later.) Now, if each of them had exactly 10 outfits, and this was 10 work days later, and each of them held to a strict rotation schedule, then everyone wearing the same clothes on both days would make perfect sense.
But that’s not what’s implied when the older lady tells the new guy, “Looking good.”
Time for a math lesson. Let’s assume each was—as George said—on the cusp of a new wash cycle. And we’ll assume each chooses their next outfit completely at random. One person randomly choosing the same outfit has a 10% chance. Reasonable. Two of them randomly choosing the same outfit: 1% chance. Still possible. Three choosing the same outfit: 0.1%. Unlikely. All four: 0.01%, or 1 in 10,000. Doubtful.
Still not convinced? The likelihood of all four of them being at the end of a wash cycle at the same time would also be 1 in 10,000. Thus, the odds of them all having to do laundry after that same day of work, AND all randomly selecting the same outfit they’d worn previously, is an astounding 1 in 100,000,000 (0.000001%). Ain’t happening!
Of course, there’s certainly the possibility that the four dirtballs sat on the bus on their way to work that day, talking about how the Tide bottle is red just like the new Hulk. In the midst of that conversation, one of them suggested they all wash up tonight and wear the same outfits tomorrow. The only reasonable explanation.
Now back to that freshly spotless environment that suggests it’s a different day. It’s great that the bus (half the bus, anyway) is running on time. But that means the municipality is knowingly allowing one of its buses to continue operation without its back half. Might I suggest Red Hulk’s anger issues are the result of local government endangering the health and safety of its hard-working citizens. He’s mad as hell and wants nothing more than to wash away the tide of wasteful spending of taxpayer dollars.
Old Tide slogan:
The most powerful clean in any universe.
New Tide slogan:
Odds-defying wash cycles at half the bus stops.