Ad-tastrophe
When was the last time you saw a commercial that made absolutely no sense? Ohh … you don’t watch commercials. I try not to, either. But occasionally the bastards sneak up on you! Join me as we explore a reasonable interpretation of a real gem. Might as well help them punch up their slogan while we’re at it.
Watch Today’s Ad-tastrophe:
Wells Fargo: ‘Karaoke Date’
Wells Fargo: ‘Karaoke Date’
[Make sure you’ve clicked the link above and watched the commercial before reading. Otherwise my ramblings will make even less sense than they normally do!]
Coffee and a scone with a bit of get-to-know-you talk. Determine if either one takes their coffee in a manner revolting to the other. They leave after maybe an hour of chit-chat.
A few games of ping-pong so Ms. Garber can assess this beautifully bearded man’s level of competitiveness. Meanwhile Henry tests whether her hand-eye coordination is quality enough to merit being the potential mother of his future children. Neither wants to get too sweaty, so they only play two casual games over the course of an hour.
They leave in time enough to get to the movie theater, grab some popcorn, and pick out perfect seats just as the trailers end. Each eyes the popcorn bucket, her devilish glance saying, “We’re both thinking it, but you probably shouldn’t.” His smirk answers, “I honestly wasn’t thinking that. I don’t have anything to cut a hole in the bucket with anyway.” They leave just as the closing credits begin to roll; another two hours gone.
They use the hour before getting on stage at the karaoke bar to get a feel for one another’s musical tastes. Then they sing together to test if they might be able to tolerate hearing the other sing in the shower for the next six decades of married life.
Adding in at least an hour of cumulative travel time between the venues, we arrive at a conservative estimate of six hours since their date was originally scheduled to end. Which brings up the question we’re all wondering: what did they do on the first part of the date? Did they have brunch? Was he walking her home from church?
Maybe this was the morning after a Tinder hookup that was meant to be just another 1-night stand. The night, however, went so well that he plugged in his iron and busted out the ironing board to make sure her dress looked presentable after having been balled up and tossed in the corner last night.
Old Wells Fargo slogan:
The Wells Fargo Active Cash Card. That’s real life ready.
New Wells Fargo slogan:
Wells Fargo and Tinder hookups. Get the iron ready.
Not sure what to answer.