Q&complAints #217: Don’t Do It, Man

What is one thing men should never do?

Post your answer in the LEAVE A COMMENT section below. I’m not the boss of you, though. Don’t write anything for all I care! But, really, this is one thing you should always do.
questions answers signage

. . .here are my thoughts.

What is one thing men should never do?

A man should never lie atop another man who lies on a sled at the apex of a winding mile-long tube of ice. Yet this happens. It’s called Doubles Luge. My opposition to these two men positioned ass-to-groin has nothing to do with homophobia. It has everything to do with the dangers involved with sliding 80 MPH down a tube of frozen water. How do they decide who’s on top, anyway? I’d think the top dude would be in more danger during the occasional crash. While the fella below realizes the benefits of relative full-body safety, he makes the perpetual sacrifice of 175 pounds crushing directly onto his junk! Pick your poison. Either position of the feet-first duo is preferential to the lunacy of the head-first slide of the aptly named Skeleton. They’re risking life and limb to reach the bottom a few hundredths of a second quicker than their competition. Why not add a bit of sexiness to the minute of pure terror? I propose a skeletoner atop a luger—call it Lugeton, or Skeluge. (We’ll workshop the name.) A mixed doubles run promises to be 69 seconds of pure bliss!

2 thoughts on “Q&complAints #217: Don’t Do It, Man”

Leave a Comment